Katherine: Conservative in Training

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Ronald McDonald: Criminal Menace

Earlier, police in Manchester New Hampshire announced the arrest of Ronald McDonald for robbing the local Wendy’s restaurant.

Our staff here at ReallyRight.com has been able to reconstruct the crime as follows.

Ronald McDonald met with his accomplice at the Round Table inside the local Pizza Hut. After much deliberation, Ronald and his partner agreed to a rather Shakey plan.

Using the Famous Star that Carl’s Junior had given to Paris Hilton last summer; Ronald would distract Wendy by pretending to be a Subway inspector is search of the elusive Jack in the Box. Meanwhile, his accomplice would drink an A & W rootbeer float to hide his face from security cameras as he went In and Out of the office. His partner would grab more loot than Long John Silver’s treasure chest and head for the local Quizno’s.

After a quick Stop n’ Shop, he was ToGo to Rico’s.

Ronald entered the Wendy’s at 7:11. All was going according to plan until the Burger King pulled into the drive-thru for a Frosty.  Once he saw Ronald, the King rang the Taco Bell. Colonel Sanders and his posse came to the assistance of Wendy’s manager, Mr. Hardey’s.

Ronald was pursued past the Outback outhouse and the Texas Roadhouse to Ruth Crist’s Steakhouse. After a brief peppering, he surrendered in the Olive Garden.