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Thursday, July 12, 2018

Stormy Daniels was Arrested this AM

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By “Chief” an occasional contributor

When the “Chief” read this headline, Stormy Daniels was Arrested this AM, I knew I had to fire up another troll blog.  Stormy Daniels, we will refer to her as an adult entertainer, most known for trying to extort money from President Donald J Trump, was arrested at a Columbus, Ohio strip club where she was “performing” this Thursday AM.  She “allegedly” touched some undercover police officers while she was performing on stage.  Stormy was arrested and booked into a local jail; no word if said jail had a stage or fireman’s pole on which she could continue her act.  However; traditionally, they do have a camera or two on the premises.


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Stormy Daniels taking the perp walk earlier today and she looks way different with clothing


Stormy posted bail of $6,054 and was released shortly after being booked. No word on whether bail was paid in used one-dollar bills, or coupons for future services rendered by Miss Daniels.  As a sidebar I hope the bail officer wore gloves when handling said dollar bills because this money is in need of laundering (with bleach).

As a certified connoisseur of strip clubs since my youth, I would like to weigh in on this topic because I find the lack of details disturbing here.  First of all what patron of a strip club would complain about a dancer touching them?  This is what the officers should be investigating, good lord!  That’s like the Holy Grail my friend and here you are rushing outside to put 911 on blast?  For this?  Fortunately for this “poor lad” there just happened to be a number of undercover police officers at the club to well…to stick-up for him and lend a hand. Coincidence?  I think not!  Rumor has it the officers were investigating a lead on a shooter of famed, rap martyr, XXXTentacion.

Lest you think I jest about Ohio, read the article in the post below on flakka.

“… there have been recent reports of a designer drug marketed as flakka in Ohio and Houston as well as Florida.”

Thank gawd they didn’t let this “Stormy” situation blow over.  Or perhaps these officers were just looking for a reason to get her off the premises, away from the unwashed masses, and get a private show out of this?  Most people don’t look good in handcuffs unless you are into that sort of thing, but something tells me Stormy didn’t mind, and she is likely no stranger to a pair of more “furry” handcuffs. 

Upon being bailed out, her attorney put out a statement saying, “This was a setup and politically motivated, it reeks of desperation.”  I agree, as this appears to be the same thing she did to President Trump. The irony in that statement cannot be made up. 

What is kind of funny in a weird way is this is the law she broke “under Ohio Law, an employee who regularly appears nude, or seminude on the premises of a sexuality oriented business is not allowed to touch anyone who is not a family member while nude or semi-nude at said establishment.”  Well I think that law defeats the purpose of any and all strip clubs, I mean who wants to see a family member nude or semi-nude?  Frankly I would expect a law like this in West Virginia but not its neighbor to the west!  Truth be told I’m slightly disturbed. Now let me get this straight, so touching a family member’s junk while nude is not viewed as a crime, but if it’s not a family member, it’s illegal?  Does this include service animals? Many people regard them as family members too.

Given the above, I think it’s time to change the way we pick Presidents since it usually comes down to Ohio’s “voters.”  Maybe they have these laws because of the old joke, what do you call a good looking women in Ohio?  A visitor!

In an interview with a friend of mine, he commented “Just a few months ago she was on top of the world, being interviewed by Anderson Cooper and Jimmy Kimmel and now this?  My response was if you consider being interviewed by those two as the top of the world; you should get out more often.  Plus, I think that’s the first time I’ve heard the words, “girl”, “on top of” and “Anderson Cooper” in the same sentence, ever.

In closing, Stormy got off on these “alleged” charges this morning. And when I say got off, I mean legally, not sexually because there is no way to prove the latter.  This is why I always urge people to use “allegedly” because until convicted you do have rights in this country…allegedly.  A couple of final thoughts on this; first, the day I call the police because a stripper touched me is the day I kill myself!  Also, boy do I hope Trump tweets his thoughts on this, I’m going to get my popcorn and warm pretzel handy!  Additionally, I’m glad to know the good men and women of the Columbus Police Department were attending a strip club last night rather than you know; cleaning up the hell hole that is known as Columbus!  I am sure there were no shootings, opioid overdoses, or any other crimes committed in that gawd forsaken place!

More as events warrant,

“Chief”

 

Posted by william on 07/12 at 04:40 PM
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